Paranoia and other pleasant things

Now you see me, now you don’t

Today our toilet (located conveniently in my cabinet) was out of order. The closest usable restroom was in the cabinet of a neurologist, nicknamed “the Locust” and renowned for her bad reaction at people, other than patients or superiors, entering her realm.

This wasn’t much of a problem until noon, when I really needed to go - ahem- check my makeup. But where? I couldn’t leave my cabinet for too long, since hordes of patients were on the hall waiting, so the loos situated further were out of the question. The only remaining were the Locust’s and our patients’ toilet. Which was out of the question because .. eww.

I went in front of the ambulatoriu and waited for a while, enjoying the warm day and looking as innocent and carefree as possible. And in less than five minutes, the Locust comes out too shouting to the maintenance guys to find her a plumber to fix her sink. They tell her where she can find him (she isn’t too loved by them either) and she goes on search for the guy. Immediately after her comes out her male nurse, who goes to his maintenance pals to smoke a cigarette. All’s clear, she has no patients left.

Figuring out this is a now-or-never type situation, I enter her cabinet (which is OPEN, people!) enter restroom and come out in less than a minute. I’m back to my cabinet before her nurse’s cigarette is half smoked.

Hello, my name is Andrea and I’m a pee terrorist.

Posted under: hospital