Paranoia and other pleasant things

Behind dark-tinted windows

Adina came back from a week-long vacation and the Ambulatoriu is filled with people. I’ve also had my request for the remaining vacation days approved - so I’ll be home next month from the 6th to the 30th. I intend to spend those days teaching Timi lots of words in both Romanian and Hungarian, cooking yummy foods, doing petit point and reading the forensic Psychology books a certain Californian has sent me. Oh, and going to Robi’s middle sister’s wedding. Posting of slightly drunken people’s pics from Miercurea Ciuc should be expected after the event.

Yesterday’s “You think your life sucks?” case was a lady from the mountains, suffering from depression. Asked about the source of her condition, she told me how she married young, and two or three years after the wedding she discovered her husband had an affair with her mom.

“Pardon me?” said I , reaching for my jaw which dropped to the floor with a loud thud.

“Yes, I even caught them doing it once .. but I suspect he was involved with her prior to our marriage, after all, he almost never touched me, even as newlyweds.”

“Any concrete evidence for that?”

“No .. but tell me, if not, why was he having sex with me at most 2-3 times a year? And why, when he sensed the slightest sign that I was enjoying what we were doing, he preferred to stop than to let me feel pleasure?”

After a few years of being faithful to somebody who couldn’t care less, she started having violent headaches, to which no doc could find an organic explanation (… duh). She then sunk into depression, got out , sunk again and so on. For twenty years out of twenty-five of marriage.

“How come you didn’t divorce?”

“I’m an Orthodox, miss .. I spoke to a few priests and they told me to have patience and bear my cross .. I also hoped he would change, maybe see that he should be with me, not my mom and return to the family.”

“So you have kids with him?”

“Two boys - the older is in Spain, the other is 20 and living with me. He probably knows what’s happening”

“And how did that affect him?”

“He was upset for weeks, and didn’t want to talk to his dad anymore .. but after a while my husband left home and I got fired so money became very scarce. And my son needed money for the bus to school”

“And?”

“And one day my son told me -Ma, you know I wouldn’t ask you if there would be any other way ..but you need to track down dad. He has to drive some workers each day to a construction site on this street, so you should find a cab with tinted windows and follow him, find out where he moved”

“So what did you do?”

“I did what he said .. told the cab driver to follow my husband’s car and went to the outskirts of the city where I discovered he had a new mistress.”

“While still being with your mom?”

“Yes”

“Go on”

“I did confront him, but he told me he was free to do whatever he wanted, and so was I for all he cared. He gave me the money for the son and told me to go away. And I went.”

The pattern of frequent depression episodes continued until recently when one of the docs told her that she should really find herself a worthy man instead of the pondscum she was married to. She took her advice and fell in love with somebody she’s still with at the moment (4 months and counting). She says she’s learning now how to feel happy again.

Posted under: hospital